How to Deal With "Annoying" People

Someone had recently asked me to write about “How you deal with annoying people at work. You know, like, the kind of people who smile at you and give you a compliment then turn around and do really vicious or at least really annoying things for no apparent reason other than they are crazy and there to make your life difficult.”

Here are a few quick insights and tips on how to make this “work” in your business or personal life:

1 – Understand that people make other people’s life “difficult” because they aren’t happy with their own life (so they feel that they need to make other people suffer). They think, “If I’m not happy, why should anyone else be happy?” I find that (in most cases), it has nothing to do with the actual person they are “making miserable” it’s just that they are jealous you aren’t as miserable as they are and you seem to be the closest in proximity to prey on. I personally think this is sad, but I found it to be true almost every time I come across this.

Know how to solve this? Remove yourself from them whenever they try to “annoy” you and soon they will find someone else to “annoy” BESIDES you. What if you can’t “remove yourself” from them? Read on.

2 – As someone who has years of dealing with this in my own personal life and businesses that I worked at, I found that you can’t change anyone BUT you can limit your time with them AND use them for what you need them for. I understand people might think that sounds a bit harsh “use them for what you need them for.” But understand… THEY are using YOU for what they need you for too (AND you are NOT to be someone’s punching bag)!

What do I mean by this?

Going back to the person in my family whom I experience this with, say for instance you are closing on a house and need to have someone tell you everything that is wrong with it (before you move in). This person is great at that. They will tell you EVERYTHING that doesn’t work, that you would initially overlook.

Have a business deal you aren’t sure of or you need more information on? Ask the “annoying person” what they think, and they will tell you everything that doesn’t work. How great is that? Now you know ALL the kinks you need to work out before you proceed with “the deal.”

What about a new relationship you aren’t sure about? Ask this same “annoying person” everything they see wrong with it (that you aren’t even aware of). Isn’t that better than having them “annoy” you? How much more does that help you INSTEAD?

But CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION, you cannot look to this person for encouragement or to be happy for you about certain things or achievements in your business or personal life. If you do, they will pop your balloon of excitement. I personally know how frustrating this could be because if you are like most people, when great things happen you want to tell everyone about it and scream from the rooftops about how great life is. Right?

Sadly, this person will not be happy for you, so keep the conversation light and simple (meaning no specifics – they don’t want to REALLY know anyway, other than to tear you down to their level so they can relate to you).

3 – Find people you can be around that are supportive of you (not “annoying”). It’s like a breathe of fresh air when you find other people who are TRULY supportive of who you are and what you do.

Once you find a group or set of friends’ that is encouraging and supportive of you, that is who you share the specifics of your excitement with. They will also bring you towards other people who are just as supportive. As I said before, eventually, the “annoying people” won’t be around you anymore and will find other people to “annoy” instead of you.

How great is that? Don’t believe me? How many people do YOU like to be around that are “annoying?” Exactly. Remember, they feed off of people that ARE annoyed by them (because it gives THEM pleasure).

4 – In addition to that, you can also ask more quality questions to get more quality answers. For instance, instead of asking, “why me” replace it with “what do I need to do so this person doesn’t annoy me and can help move my business, ideas or personal life forward as I continue to limit my time around them?”