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The Official Blog Of The Kick Ass Copywriter

Jared Matthew Kessler

Four Weeks + One Goal = ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COPY OUT! (Part 3 Of 4)


In a quick recap.  The first part of this series we talked about…

  1. Green mohawks.
  2. Hustling.
  3. Getting some action.
  4. My slacknesstude.  :)

In the second part of this series we talked got a little spicier and talked about…

  1. Eliminating words and phrases that pique (thanks Ava for pointing out my misspelling on the last one) our B.S. factor.
  2. Gucci Slippers.
  3. Going Psycho-ologist on someone.

This week’s lesson, we’re going to actually go through and analyze a few simple/cool sites that first come to mind and are applying a lot of the things that I’m talking about.

Ready?

Wait… this is harder than I thought to teach this kind of stuff (insert 4 day break here – and TONS of cups of tea later).

Ok.  So let’s go check out the first site.

Lynda.com - Now what is Lynda?  It’s an online tutorial based learning center.  It’s brilliant!

First let’s start off with the pain.  The pain that things are changing so fast, that if you’re not up-to-date and educated with what’s going on today, you’re going to be left behind.  And that’s not good is it?

The benefits?  Learn anywhere you want.  On your terms.  Unlike sitting in a classroom and being unable to rewind the teacher’s lessons, you can do it here.

Pause it?  Sure.  View it a ton of times if you don’t understand something?  Absolutely!

You can learn more (where it sells you on just a few of the most important benefits to YOU).  Or you can just subscribe.  On each page it has testimonials – which builds trust.  Oh AND it displays major companies who use it too (more trust).

Zipcar.com -  If you attended my live workshop I did in Seattle, you’re probably familiar with how much I love their copy (mainly because they write in all lowercase lettering – my excuse I give to people on why grammar doesn’t mean much when it comes to writing GREAT copy).

Ok… so let’s get back to it.

Oh and if you’ll notice something right off the bat, Zipcar it’s NOT a car-by-the-hour.  It’s a car when YOU need it (another way to illustrate the importance of a great tag line).  See how much of a difference there is?  Not let’s get to it!

Upon visiting their site.  It’s super simple.  Fun.  And…

You immediately get to see if it’s for you.  And how it works.  Again notice their grammar – it’s all in lowercase (sorry, I had to put that in there again)  :)

Ok.  So what’s the pain points?

  1. Saving money (where they actually list how much money you save over owning a car).
  2. How much better it is over public transportation.
  3. How much of a pain in the ass it is owning a car (going into detail).

So how does it benefit you?

  1. You don’t pay for gas.
  2. Insurance is included (versus most of car rental places that you get KILLED on).
  3. It super convenient (for those who live in a city – their target audience, you just walk to any of the cars parked in certain lots).

Easy.  Right?

Oh and remember their USP (Unique Selling Proposition)?  Why they’re different than any other car rental place?  Look how clearly it’s communicated.  Look at the feel of the site.  MUCH friendlier than any other car rental place.  Huh?

How cool?  How convenient, huh?  Now onto the last example.

Orabrush.com - Has one of the most brilliant marketing campaigns.  So much so, when I saw their youtube video, I wanted to go and see the movie (the only thing was, it wasn’t a real movie).  LOL!

So let’s dissect their copy.  Shall we?

The pain (of their audience)?  Bad breathe is keeping you single!  Ohhhh (good one)!  Embarrassed over bad breathe?  ANOTHER great one!  How about the FEAR OF BEING EMBARRASSED OVER OTHERS SMELLING YOUR BAD BREATHE?  Oh noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

How their different than the competition?  Most bacteria that causes bad breathe comes from your tongue (basically inferring that mouthwash isn’t good enough).  Nice!

Oh and notice the testimonials of users and how it’s an accredited company with the BBB (build’s trust).

So does this help?  Is it starting to make a lot more sense?  Can you see how you can apply a lot of what other people are doing to your current site?

If so, please stay tuned for part 4 (next week).  I think it’s really going to be the best one yet. :)

QUESTION: Do you love your business, but know you shouldn’t be the one writing for it? Or perhaps you may even feel you could ruin the reputation you’ve spent so long in building?  Heck… maybe it’s just sucking up way too much time away from doing the more important things that need to get done… and to top it off, you don’t have any real clue on how to stand out from the noise, not just add to the overabundance of it.


If any of that sounds familiar, click here.  Let’s talk!


Otherwise if you haven’t already done so, you can subscribe to the newsletter or feed for weekly tips, tricks and kicks delivered straight to your gut, heart, soul inbox.


40 Things You May Not Know (Or Care To Know) About Me – But Think You Should.


Recently inspired by Corbett Barr‘s free eBook entitled, “18 Months.  2 Blogs.  Six Figures,” I felt it was really important to share something like this with you.  Always looking to find ways to connect with my readers, I kinda feel like some people getting this don’t really know me and…

I don’t know.  I think that’s kinda weird.

So here’s a list of things you might not know (or care to know) about me, but think you should.

1 – I originally thought Bailey (our Corgi), was the ugliest dog ever. But now, I don’t think I could live without her. For those that don’t know about Bailey, my girlfriend Kelly had gotten her from a breeder when she was just a few weeks old.  Bailey loves people – but really hates other dogs.  It’s weird.

She also makes this crazy moaning noises when she “gets all crazy” as Kelly would say.  Oh and she also has separation anxiety (which means, she turns into Cujo whenever we leave).  I mean can you blame her?  Who wants to be stuck inside our place without me?

2 – I want a tattoo really bad, but they scare me. I was walking down the street the other day and saw like this 16 year old with tattoo’s all over his face and body.  I was like, “Dude.  How are you going to ever make a living?  Did you ever think about that, before you went off and did something like that?”

Then I though of his parents (although he probably doesn’t have any)… but if he did, I just wondered how they could allow it. Maybe they own a tattoo shop?  Now I wonder if that industry was “hit by the recession.”  Kind of interesting to think about.

I mean you can’t really get a tattoo online.  Can you?

3 - Ever since I was a kid, I always had friends that were a LOT older. It’s weird.  I mean when I was in my twenties I had REALLY amazing friends that were in their forties.  I don’t know why.  It was like that when I was young – always having friends that were a lot older than I was.

Although it could get pretty creepy if I was like 14 years old and hanging out with 28 year old guys.  Creepy for the 28 year old (I would probably just look a lot “cooler”).

4 – I made my own lunch and did my own laundry since I was 10 years old. It’s true.  The funny thing was, when I got to college I was the only guy who knew how to do laundry.

5 – I was only 17 when I started college (and graduated at 21). I went to West Virginia University and entered as an “undecided major.”  It wasn’t until I discovered Behavioral Psychology that I was really fascinated in why we do the things that we do.

So I graduated with a psychology degree.  It was hard.  I didn’t know what TRUE studying was, until I went to college.  The weird thing is, I learn more from books (and my own personal screw ups) than anything school ever taught me.

6 – I think companies that ask for a “resume” should get a kick in their shin.  I’m sorry.  If you’ve ever applied for a “job” – hopefully you’ll understand.  :)

7 – I worked at a huge variety of companies (for a span of close to ten years before starting my own business).  From working at The Ritz Carlton to Bloomberg, it’s how I’m able to understand and work with such a wide variety of clientele.

8 – I hated english class. Isn’t that always the case (with professional writers)?  I don’t know if it was the teachers I had. Being told what to read.  Or just the fact that I’d rather be home playing guitar, but I just hated it.  I think I got like a 750 SAT score in high school.

It’s probably because I had such a low self-esteem.  Didn’t we all?

9 – I’ve played guitar for over 15 years.  Keyboard for about 10.  And have a 6th album all done (it’s all instrumentals). I’m not sure when I want to actually “release” it, but music just makes me so happy sometimes.  To the point that if I don’t listen to it sometimes, I feel like I’ll just explode.

I’m listening to Michael Jackson right now.  And I think Bruno Mars too.

10 – I can drink Green Tea all day long. I think I’m up to about 2 or 3 cups a day.  Whole leaf is so much better than just the regular packaged kind.  I have a iron tea pot.  Little tea cups.  And for some reason only like Splenda or Equal with it.

Practically living in cafe’s, writing for the past 10 years or so…  I changed to just Green Tea about 5 years ago and my body just doesn’t agree with coffee.  I wish it did.  I just doesn’t (to the point where I tried it about 2 or 3 times and the next day I’m sick).

I don’t get it either.

11 - I used to be really into Tony Robbins. When I graduated college, the first book I read was “The Road Less Traveled” by M. Scott Peck.  Then I somehow got into Tony Robbins book, “Unlimited Power” (or something like that – too lazy to get up as I’m writing this in bed).

It got to the point that I was “crewing for him” and… I just met some REALLY amazing people through that (along withe some REALLY interesting people too – let’s just say).  I still can’t believe how much money people pay to go see him.

12 – I read a book a week for about 2 years straight. When I met “The Billionaire” as I call him, in my first book, I was so committed to “being my best” that it like took over my life.

In reality, it only took about 1-2 hours a day to do.  It was still a pretty big commitment to make.  I take a lot more time now, but still love to read a great book.

13 – I opened for “Electric Light Orchestra.” Back when I was into the whole Tony Robbins stuff, I used his principles to book shows.  So I sent this guy a cassette tape.  He loved my professionalism and ability to be persistent without being a dick, and that was it.

But to be honest with you, I didn’t know who they were.  I went into some store in Princeton, NJ to get a cd to hear more about them.  So I told the guy behind the counter that I’m playing some festival opening up for E.L.O. or something and was wondering which cd of theirs to get.

He looked at me like, “Dude you’re opening for E.L.O. and don’t even know who they are?”

Here’s two pics – see for yourself.  One. Two.

14 – I signed with a well respected talent agency “back in the day” and landed in some crazy auditions, commercials and tv stuff.  It’s how I originally got into credit card debt.  I was going on a ton of auditions a day, and I couldn’t keep a day job (and “waiting tables” scared me).  So I basically lived off of credit cards from 1999-2001 – which led me to living and building things 100% debt free today.

If you like, you can check this tv show I was in (it’s on youtube).  It’s hilarious!  Wait about 25 seconds in (I’m the guy playing guitar in it).  :)

15 – I can be really funny when I want to be and was seriously thinking of going into comedy. When I had some horrible experiences living in Florida, I thought that might be the only way to get through living there.  I chickened out, though.

16 – I never went to my high school prom. Mainly because I was just too nervous to ask out any girls.  I don’t know.  Some girl who had a locker right next to mine I was told, “Wanted to go to prom with me.”

I didn’t like her, so I didn’t go.  I don’t know.  It just didn’t make sense to do something I didn’t want to do (now that I look back on things, that’s never really changed).

17 – I never went to any of my high school reunions. I just feel like why spend the money to get a plane ticket to see people I’m not really friends with.  I don’t know.  I don’t get it.

18 – Prior to being a professional Copywriter, I only had one boss I liked, and he fired me. His name was Ken.  He worked in Medical Malpractice Insurance.  I learned so much from him – in terms of just doing business.

He was hilarious!

19 – My first apartment (in 1999) was in Venice Beach, CA.  It was like a college dorm.  I don’t know why I’m mentioning that, other than the fact that whenever someone asked me where I lived, I was always embarrassed to tell them (back then).

20 – I hung out with Bud Bundy a few times (David Faustino) – I was in an acting class with his girlfriend and she invited me over.  I had no clue her boyfriend was this guy.  But he was really laid back (seemed to smoke a lot of pot).  Had a house up in Hollywood around the corner from Jerry’s Deli.

I actually watched the Oscars one night with him and some friends, and went to a party on another night at his place.  Back then I feel like I had some pretty amazing opportunities, but I don’t know…

I was just so butt poor (and so unsupported by family) that unless I “booked something” it didn’t really mean much.

21 – I haven’t eaten meat in over 18 years.  I saw a really crazy film of what they do to cows and animals, and it just didn’t feel right to participate in something like that.  I mean the fear in an animals eyes of what was happening to it – my heart just sank.

I couldn’t ever do that.  However, I do eat fish.  I don’t know, I’ve never felt this way with fish – I’ve never seen any emotion in their eyes.  If I did, I would probably think differently.

22 – Sometimes I try to look at a person in a parking lot and guess what kind of car they drive, just by how they look (or act). Most of the time I get it right too.  It’s weird – I know.

The other day I saw an old school porsche in the parking lot of this burger joint I always pass.  It was crazy.  I saw everyone outside and couldn’t find the person whom I thought it belonged too.  As I got closer though, I saw someone sitting in the driver’s seat.

See.  I told you I’m pretty good at that game.

23 – I think at the top of every credit card statement it should say, “Remember now.  We’re not your friend – we just want your money.” It honestly made me really happy to see this video where a couple foreclosed on a bank.

24 – I want to make $100,000 per speech. I saw a well-respected booking agency that has a lot of big profile people and what some people get… and was just floored at what some people make per speech.

Just 3 of those a year and I’ll be happy.  You know?

25 – I’m a minimalist.  It doesn’t take much to make me happy.  Really.  Just getting paid to do what I love.  Being around people (and animals) that I love is great.  Although I would need a laptop, keyboard, some great music and a guitar.

Other than that, I can’t think of much else besides food and water.

26 – I’ve been with my girlfriend Kelly for over 4 years, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate our relationship.  No matter what, she’s always stuck with me (through really good and bad times) – and her family’s really kind to me too.

27 – I read my horoscope almost every day. Ok.  Now I’m not big into it, but it just seems to be so right on, I don’t know what else to do.  It’s like instant connection – to the point that I think I might have a problem.

Just kidding (I’m a Scorpio).

28 – I tried talking to Bailey about my problems one day – and she didn’t help. Kelly told me to try it.  ”She’s a great listener” she says.

Bailey just looked at me weird.  :)

29 – I write on waterproof paper in the shower.  Before I discovered that… you don’t really want to know what I would do to capture those ideas when I was showering.  :)

30 – I still need to work on my listening skills. I don’t know.  I’m just a passionate person and often know what the next thing is that someone is going to say.  It’s not a bad or annoying thing.  I just need to work more on my listening – just saying.

31 – When I was younger, I went on a cruise with my parents and a tour guide took us to a nude beach. OMG.  It was hilarious.  You heard me on camera say, “Maybe we should ask some people down there for directions.”

32 – I never get tired of Chinese Food. I don’t know what it is.  Some say “it’s a jewish thing.”  I don’t know.  I think I can eat it all day though.

There a place called, “Chopsticks” around the corner that I love.  The lady there is so nice.

33 – I’m not a big fan of second hand smoke - probably because I had a father who smoked a pack a day for over 40 years.

34 – I’m confused as of why so many people are scared to hear the truth. I don’t know.  I guess no one likes to hear it.  But sometimes I feel like it’s important to share.

Actually, just on more important issues.  I think if it’s done right, it really could be pretty life changing.

35 – Sometimes I’m really scared to hit that “Publish” button.  I’m always curious to see what everyone thinks though.

36 – In 2006 I switched gears to get more into instrumental music.  I shared it with a friend and she thought it sounded like it should be on tv or in commercials.  So I sent it to some people and a guy at Mtv responded. In short, for the next 4 years or so I’ve been getting anywhere from $1 to $500 a month for it playing in shows called, “Two A Days.”  ”True Life.”  And “My Super Sweet Sixteen” – which by the way I think is a pretty bad show for kids to be watching.

I really loved “Two A Days” though – the music in it.  That’s when I thought I would get more into doing music for tv and film (until I found out how political everything was).

37 – My favorite “job” (outside of what I currently do) was being an overnight bellman at the Ritz Carlton.  I had a chance to meet and check-in some pretty amazing people.  It was located in San Marino, CA (right outside Pasadena).

I checked in Bill Bob Thornton (really present – like I expected).  Meaning he was just very in-the-moment.  He tipped me $40 and didn’t say much.

I checked in Nancy O’Dell (who I was told tipped everyone at least $20 – I only got $5 and I’m still upset). I checked in a ton of baseball players (whom I didn’t really know), but remember taking some crazy ass party girls to this really famous baseball player – oh and I found out he was married (the next day).

“Oh really” as Kelly would say.

I also got to hear about how Eminem stayed there and got upset at one of the guys for looking at him the wrong way.  I think they said his alias was “Mr. Pink” or something like that.  You know.  The name someone puts down for them, so you don’t know it’s them.

38 – I just paid over $20 for face cream.  Can you believe that?  I went from Nivea to Zirh and…

I blame the ads in GQ or this.  LOL!

39 – Every morning I ask for complete guidance into what I need to do next.

As you can imagine, some of the answers that come from “asking” is pretty scary.  But I still have to ask.  :)

40 – I’ve probably lost about $10,000 in ego-related stupidness in turning down people that wanted to work with me. Besides probably 2 or 3 people that were just bad apples, it really adds up to a lot of money.

Although I often try to let things like that go, its sometimes pretty hard to do.

So I guess that’s it for now.

I’m not sure what I hoped to get out of this, other than at least getting through the thick surface of trying to hide who I am behind a laptop screen.  Of course that’s not everything about me (I’m still young).  It’s just stuff I thought you may not know (or care to know) about me – but think you should.

Did I leave out anything?

QUESTION: Do you love your business, but know you shouldn’t be the one writing for it? Or perhaps you may even feel you could ruin the reputation you’ve spent so long in building?  Heck… maybe it’s just sucking up way too much time away from doing the more important things that need to get done… and to top it off, you don’t have any real clue on how to stand out from the noise, not just add to the overabundance of it.

 


If any of that sounds familiar, click here.  Let’s talk!


Otherwise if you haven’t already done so, you can subscribe to the newsletter or feed for weekly tips, tricks and kicks delivered straight to your gut, heart, soul inbox.

 

Welcome To My New Web Site


I just wanted to welcome you to my new web site in a more formal way (through the video below). I also have a surprise guest that wants to say, “hello” to you – towards the end.

She is quite a treat.


And for those who don’t want to pay or CAN’T afford to pay for a site like this on their own (through a web designer)…  here is the program I personally used to create it.

Click here to check it out.

Believe it or not it only 7 days WITHOUT knowing any crazy programming hoopla.

I’m serious.

In my opinion his program is 100% worth it.  Why?  As many of you may or may not know, for a site like mine it could EASILY cost you $3,500.

Much like you, I didn’t want to spend that (sorry all my web programmer guys and designers out there).

But seriously, all I did was use the link above.  He is great!

Now could you get a site that is 10 TIMES better than mine and pay a ton for it, absolutely!  But why would you if you REALLY don’t need to?

"Nothing Ever Gets Done Around Here"


I remember working at this job where the head of the department screamed, “Nothing ever gets done around here.” I remember thinking to myself, “Probably because no one likes you.”

Then I thought about all of the people in my life that I consider a really good friend, and how I would do anything for them.

I think businesses nowadays should really pay attention to this.

T-Shirts And Jeans


In talking to a friend the other day, I had mentioned that in working “Survival Jobs” to fund my business, the thing that hurt me the most was how I looked.

He seemed shocked.

I said, “You know t-shirts and jeans are more ‘me’ than a shirt and tie, but good luck with trying to rise to the top of the corporate ladder with that.”

“That isn’t where you want to be anyway,” he responded. I said, “I know, I just want to make more money to be able to fund my own business.” “I understand,” my friend said, “but also understand that this dislike for how you are treated by how you look, may ALSO be the fuel that you need to succeed in running your own business, and helping others with that same problem.”

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